2012 had been one of the best (though sometimes hardest) years of my life. So when I saw this list from {in}courage, I knew I wanted to celebrate by recording these:
The best recipe you couldn’t not make again? Dear li'l 3-year-old grandson did not like my homemade venison sausage (It's too 'picy, Gramma!) so I switched out the pepper with minced garlic, which met his approval.
The best book you couldn’t put down? Well, I read Knowing God by J.I. Packer at least half a dozen times, and read through the whole Harry Potter series for the first time. :)
The best song that you just couldn’t get out of your head? 10,000 Reasons. :)
The jeans that fit best?Haha. well. Jeggings? Then, after doing the diastasis exercises (see the best link) I fit back into all my regular jeans again. :) I don't know the brands. The tool/gizmo/idea that worked best? (It’s true: One good idea in hand is worth two good friends knowing about it too!) That would be the Mix and Masher from Pampered Chef:
The risk that returned best? (It’s why angels always say it first: “Do not be afraid.” You never start living until you stop fearing.) Maybe taking a 2-year-old and a 4-year-old camping for the first time? and the second time? Pure delight!
The best link of 2102? One my daughter pinned for me on Pinterest: http://inspiredrd.com/2012/06/dear-diastasis-recti-im-so-over-you.html
The best laugh? The things my grandchildren say. . .and do. . .and pretend!
The best living? Oh, living the life God has for me. . .being who he wants me to be, doing the next thing, knowing I can be honest with him, not wanting to hide. . .And I had more purposeful fun than I have ever had in any year of my life! Camping, picnics, trips, weddings, parties, games, movies, books. . .and so much pleasure and joy in doing them with people I love!
The best thing you didn’t want to do — but you did anyway? (Happiness comes to them who pursue hard things.) :) Starting my council of friends was so hard. . .but they have been one of the biggest blessings in my life for a long time!
What was the best habit? After reading The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, I made a li'l chart to help me remember to send birthday cards and make phone calls to reach out to people.
The best holiday? Passover/Resurrection Sunday!
The best gift? The best ever, and every day, is that God gave us himself!
The best sacrifice? (The best way to have more is to give more…) Taking care of my mom for a few weeks--difficult but rewarding! And thankfully she is much better now.
I was just remembering a conversation with one of my college roommates when we were students. I was upset because I had made less than a 100% on a test. Not that this was all that uncommon, but missing anything felt like failure to me.
Linda could not understand my frustration. I had made an A.
"Did you do your best?" she inquired.
I thought a moment, and then replied truthfully, "Yes."
"Well, that's all God expects from you. And who are *you* to expect more from someone than God does?"
Last Monday was our last council of friends for awhile. The original concept was to gather a group of women that I knew were seekers of truth and also gracious, and to set aside some time to seek God's heart on some subject. Before this, I had begun to feel that I was withdrawn and reserved, and the Lord seemed to be asking me to change--to be more open to trustworthy people, to make some heart-to-heart friends. At the first meeting, the consensus was that feelings of guilt were over-whelming and crippling some of us. So we pursued that subject for 7 weeks, with the desire to overcome the crippling effects of guilt.
We faced wrongs we had done,
and asked for our joy to be renewed.
We acknowledged that sometimes
we feel guilty
when we haven't done anything wrong,
just failed to meet
some arbitrary goal--
we overcame perfectionism.
We cried together. . .
every week. . .
and we counseled
and encouraged one another.
We upheld each other in prayer
and meditated on a few passages of scripture.
We thought about guilt
and grace
and forgiveness
and healing
and joy.
And the end of seven weeks arrived,
and we were sad
to see the end,
but glad to have walked this path
together.
Maybe we will gather again,
and continue to heal
and feast
and become stronger
in grace.
I like buying gifts, but if I don't know a couple well, I'm not always sure what to get for them. Gift cards or money can be a great option--plus the shipping costs on them are optimal. ;)
However, I think I have found the perfect, all-around wedding gift:
One of the couples that I sent this to last summer sent the following charming note:
Thank you so much for the Mr. and Mrs. mugs. They are totally awesome, and one of the best things we got. . .
I think they're awesome too--so much that I'm sharing this little story without Dayspring even knowing, or asking, or giving, or such. . .
Have I ever mentioned that I love Dayspring? I'm so thankful that the artists and manufacturers and business people who are gifted in their various ways make these cool things available for people like me. to give, or to keep.
[Jesus said] “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”
Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.
“Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants.When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents.And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made.So the servantfell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt.When
his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly
distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had
taken place.Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me.And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers,until he should pay all his debt.So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart."
When the council of friends met on Monday morning, we reflected on our meditation of Isaiah 61 for the week. I would like to share the gleanings of our discussion, though I seem to have lost the flow of it.
God gives us a crown of beauty for ashes. The ashes have to come before the beauty, because the fire that leaves the ashes burns out our guilt and *stuff*. Then there is a place for the beauty with which he wants to crown us.
Ashes are bitter to our taste, and guilt is bitter to our souls. But God will crown us with beauty--it's a process.
Guilt is like a wound. There is some immediate relief with confession and turning for the wrong/damaging attitudes and behavior, like when a wound is bandaged there is some immediate relief from the pain. But the whole healing process takes time, and there is still a wound under the bandage until it's all healed.
When we start to heal from guilt, we are conscious of pain for awhile, then there may be a period of time that the pain doesn't demand attention or distract us, and then suddenly we may realize that we haven't had a problem for awhile. One of the friends shared that this is like her children when they scrape their knees too. They are conscious of the wound for the first couple days, then start being able to act without continual consciousness of the pain. They will notice a few days later that the wound has healed.
In the cross of Christ, God has taken our sin and guilt, and given us his purity. It seems like this means that he is taking the responsibility for the wrong we've done and for making it right, not only for ourselves but also for those we have hurt with our wrong-doing. If we refuse to let go of our guilt and give it to him, there is nothing we can do to bring healing to those we have hurt. But if we let him take the guilt, he is able to mend the wounds we have caused in others. We can ask him to turn the ashes and bitterness we have brought to their lives into a crown of beauty for them, that he will redeem their suffering to be something strong and beautiful.
He is able to mend and beautify the wounds we have received from others by their wrong-doing.
so before the last council of friends,
i searched the bible program i used:
guilt.
there were 109 results.
102 in the old testament,
all of them referred
to an objective
guilty/innocent
or guilty/not guilty kind of guilt,
or to guilt offerings
to be given as a result
of certain offenses.
in the new testament:
7 occurrences,
6 of which refer to Christ
as not having any guilt.
so i conclude from that
that the hebrew and greek concept of guilt
is narrower than our english one:
it doesn't seem to be related
to a guilty feeling/emotion.
it seems more objective:
you either did the bad thing
or you didn't.
so i asked the friends what words they associate with that guilty feeling, and here is our short list:
fear of being found out
shame
condemnation
sorrow
pain
regret
remorse
what kind of words do you associate with that "guilty feeling"?
Since my blog friend Lisa from Christians under Construction was following along with our quest to overcome feelings of guilt, I invited her to write a guest post of the things God is teaching her about it. Her message is healing and liberating, and I'm thankful that she was willing to contribute.
* * * * * *
I was so glad Tammie asked me to
participate with you all by writing a guest post on what the Lord has shown me
in my battle with guilt. This series 31
Days from Guilt to Grace was perfect timing for me personally; Guilt has
been a huge area of emotional pain in my life! Although it has significantly
changed over this last while I am ready to deal with this issue of lingering
guilt once and for all, thank you Tammie.
I
have so much to say on this issue as I tease it out, inspired by my sweet
friend, Tammie. So, I am going to be noting some things over on my own blog christiansunderconstruction.info
over the next while. Instead of going over Tammie’s foundational work here on
guilt and the same scripture and so on, I am sticking to one point that builds
on what she has shared and hopefully adds a little too it.
This scripture is the basis for my post
today, it is one we have heard so many times and I know myself that it is one
of those scriptures I used to rhyme off and hear a lot but never stop and think
“what does that actually mean?”
as
far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
To be honest until I really thought
about this I thought that was just a nice saying “As far as the east is from
the west”... it had no relevance for me. Then, after I allowed my mind to see
it as a reality to be understood and not just a pretty expressive saying, I
first imagined my arms outstretched as a measure of the distance and to be
honest (I am small) it’s not that far
is it? So, I pooh-poohed that length of my own short arms example and thought a
little bigger... Open a map and go Asia to America.... but that still was finite in my mind, I could
still go and retrieve my sins that way lol, it might be a trek but it was
doable to a human! Do you ever think this way?
This scripture reference – so often
quoted – began to get under my skin, but in a quiet annoyance type of way. I
just did not see how amazingly supernatural this was! How could I ever see the
end of my guilt when, I truly repent of my sin and then God just throws it over
my shoulder to Asia where I could retrieve it should I really want too... or I would at least know it was not GONE even if
I didn’t actually go retrieve it-it was just over there, not too far away!! I
thought it was finite! It only takes 3 or 4 hours to get from the East (where I
live) to West of Ireland! [Disclaimer:I did not think God was actually sending
all my sins to Asia!]
If I am the only one who thinks
backwards like this and has had trouble understanding this practically, I am
sorry... and I hope you don’t mind amusing me while I continue? ;)
How far IS the East from the West, Lord?
Have you heard the Casting Crowns
song East to West? Let me link it here and post a link to the lyrics below,
would you listen to the song and ponder the lyrics with me now? And then we
will pick up with my concluding points.
If
you have struggled with guilt, especially false guilt, then you understand “But today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me
this way”
The
song beautifully puts the distance from east to west represented in the incomparable
sacrifice of Jesus on the cross for us ... “From one scarred hand to the other”
Jesus
paid with His life blood and His broken body for us to be able to hand Him the
burden of this worlds system and this original sin carrying flesh we are
wearing! When we exchange Our Guilt for His Grace in true repentance, we can be
free! We don’t need to carry the guilt of what He has taken from us (in fact taking guilt back and holding it
falsely must be like spitting in our Saviours face! If you paid a fine for me
and I was set free but stayed in prison despite you that would insult you,
wouldn’t it?). He helps us by His Grace, to live each day! Repent and give
Him the original burden of sin – take his yolk, then try our best daily with
His help and keep a short account! It’s so simple but we complicate it!
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I
will give you rest.Take my yoke upon you and learn
from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your
souls.For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Praise the Lord for this awesome exchange!
So, do you want to know how far, east actually is from the
west? I can show you
I believe the Lord made it very clear for me and I am a
visual learner so this exercise will help me to remember in my walk away from
carrying unnecessary guilt and into understanding Grace! I pray this visual
will help you also and that it blesses you greatly!
One of the Pharisees asked him to eat with him, and he went into the
Pharisee's house and took his place at the table. And behold, a woman of
the city, who was a sinner, when she learned that he was reclining at
table in the Pharisee's house, brought an alabaster flask of ointment,
and standing behind him at his feet, weeping, she began to wet his feet
with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head and kissed his
feet and anointed them with the ointment. Now when the Pharisee who had
invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet,
he would have known who and what sort of woman this is who is touching
him, for she is a sinner.” And Jesus answering said to him, “Simon, I have something to say to you.” And he answered, “Say it, Teacher.”
“A certain moneylender had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. When they could not pay, he cancelled the debt of both. Now which of them will love him more?” Simon answered, “The one, I suppose, for whom he cancelled the larger debt.” And he said to him, “You have judged rightly.” Then turning toward the woman he said to Simon, “Do
you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave me no water for my
feet, but she has wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her
hair. You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not ceased to kiss my feet. You did not anoint my head with oil, but she has anointed my feet with ointment. Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.” And he said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.” Then those who were at table with him began to say among themselves, “Who is this, who even forgives sins?” And he said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”
1. don't have any other gods other than the true and living God.
2. don't make or admire imaginary gods or an imaginary idea of the true God.
3. don't use God's name(s) lightly or flippantly.
4. have a day of rest and worship.
5. honor your parents.
6. don't murder.
7. don't commit adultery.
8. don't steal.
9. don't lie.
10. don't crave other people's stuff or relationships
and our motive? loving God with all our being, and loving our neighbor as ourselves.
The council of friends met again yesterday morning, bright and early. Over coffee and tea, we discussed our findings of the past week.
First we reviewed Psalm 51, which we had been meditating on.
One friend commented that she had kept her Bible open in her quilting room and read the psalm whenever it caught her eye. She asked about contrition, which I tried to explain as sincere sorrow over wrong-doing. In the context, David recorded: a broken and contrite heart [God] will not despise.
For even if I made you grieve with my letter, I do not regret it—though I did regret it, for I see that that letter grieved you, though only for a while. As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us. For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.
I read the comment that Lisa made on the post about different sources of guilt (after I gave a bit of her back story for the past couple years to establish her credibility):
I think we should not respond to [sources of guilt] all the same
way as every source isn't necessarily truth however, I think the Church
at large have removed true guilt as the baby with the bath water type
situation - we need to know we are sinners and feel the wrong from right
when we actually are guilty so we can be broken before God about it and
repent! yet learning we are then forgiven so guilt has been washed from
us and we shouldn't carry it away with us...
I think because we
don't often know how to deal with our true guilt - we end up with a
guilt complex which is then put on situations it shouldn't be - feeling
guilty when a situation isn't actually our fault, blaming ourselves cos
we feel we have to, or accepting Satans lies in our ear
Another friend shared how in her meditation of Psalm 51, God had been showing her that she only had control over herself in her circumstances, and not over the circumstances or the other people involved.
May God have mercy on us all, and free us to live in joy and freedom.
“The Enemy’s voice can cause you to feel guilt
with no clear means of relief. Nothing but heaviness and hopelessness,
often with no specific connection to a particular sin. Just...there.
Take that! But when the Spirit brings conviction - which is many times
the purpose of His personal message to you - He will also bring you a
road map, a way back, a way out. He has no desire to pummel you and
prevent you from getting up again. Far from wanting to harm you, He is initiating freedom and blessing in your life.
With Him, there is “no condemnation” (Romans 8:1). No ridicule.
Total love. Love for you.
You’ll know the Spirit is speaking to you personally about your sin
when the feeling you get is not despair but a fresh desire for holiness
and purity. You’ll know it’s God when He’s calling you back to His
side, not tossing you out like yesterday’s garbage.”
guilt was the grace
that taught my heart to fear.
symptom of a deeper problem,
guilt made me examine
the crimes that i had committed
against the Ruler of the universe.
love was the grace
that relieved my fears.
the sacrificing mercy
and embracing affection
brought reconciliation
with my Father in heaven.
The first week, as I meditated and prayed about understanding the source of guilt, I came up with the following:
*breaking God's law (principally thinking of the 10 commandments)
*breaking government laws, school rules, employment policies
*failing to meet people's expectations or ideals and facing their criticism or disappointment
*failing to meet my own ideals, self-made rules, perfectionism.
Later I remembered another: the accusation of Satan in our spirits.
Should we respond to all these sources of evil in the same way?
I asked a group of my friends together for a council on what is the mental burden that most weighs us down, crippling our ability to think and act productively.
I had two-fold motivation in gathering this council. First, I was growing increasingly aware through a series of articles on the {in}courage that I was in need of integrating in a community. Second, the thought-provoking Bloom book club selection currently is a book by Jen Hatfield titled 7. The book is about reducing the excess in our lives to make more room for God and others. The impetus to blog about this topic came from The Nester's 31 day challenge for October. As you can see, I'm a little late, but I'm hoping to complete 31 blog posts even if I don't make the 31 days. :)
I invited friends whom I trusted to be honest and kindly and whom I perceive as seekers of Truth. When I began the discussion with my council of friends, I assumed maybe anxiety or
fear would be our topic, since it can be a big one for me. However the overwhelming
response was that preoccupation with guilt burdens our thoughts and
emotions.
So I began my inquiries. My goal is to understand God's mind and heart about our guilt. The resources are prayer, scripture, meditation, and the wisdom that can be gleaned from those who are further along this path than I am.
So. I'm looking forward to growing through both the highs and lows of this adventure from guilt to grace.
to love him,
and to encourage my friends
each to love her own. . .
a joyful sacrifice, it is.
i love him and he loves me,
he is wonderful
and kind
and succeeds in almost everything he does.
but each has the ability,
because of our deep intimacy
of heart and soul and spirit and body,
to wound deeply the other.
but still, the guiding rule is love--
to be kind to him to his face
and behind his back,
to be patient with his quirks
as well as his failures,
not to be demanding my own way
(which is the hardest),
not to be peeved all the time
or bear a grudge
about those quirks and failures,
to encourage him always to be
what he was created to be
which is strong and true and honorable,
to bear and believe and hope and endure
everything that happens
because it will all work out for good.
and love never fails.
sometimes true loving is hard,
but it doesn't quit.
there are days when my failures
in living this kind of love
pierce my heart with guilt. . .
but this is my goal.
and the fact that i don't hit the bulls eye every time
with 100% accuracy
doesn't mean i should give up,
or that i am not succeeding,
doing better than i would
if i weren't even trying.
We always talk about the Israelites
when they were in that desert
as
being
such
fools
that all they did in there
was walk around in circles!
No wonder we beat fellow Christians up
when they find themselves in a
desert
– we have a shocking opinion
on deserts
and the people walking
through them
BUT
God Almighty tabernacles with them there.
He set them
as His people
and he their God
in that place,
that wilderness
where He
supernaturally fed and sustained them
– yes they delayed the entry to
the promised land
but it was more than that.
God took them from being
slaves
and he began to change them
as He was going to give them a land
of their own
and make them a nation…
lets be real!
can you in your life
today
just go from slavery
to leadership
overnight
without restoration
and training?
Mark Talbot in his chapter, “All the
Good That Is Ours in Christ”: Seeing God’s Gracious Hand in the Hurts
Others Do to Us,” from Suffering and the Sovereignty of Godedited by John Piper and Justin Taylor, pp. 75-76.
God takes our actions seriously. He has big plans, but He doesn’t HAVE to use us to accomplish them. He wants to offer us that joy, but we can skip out on it by choosing our own sin over His blessing. And the sad thing is, we might never know what He wanted to give us. What’s sadder is that maybe we will. --Benjamin Power
change
-
change is weird.
and usually uncomfortable.
but it can be exciting too!
for quite a while I have been feeling the need
to stretch my artistic wings,
to sep...
They can be found at: 
