tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-78906379688460582992024-03-06T00:08:06.909-07:00book of remembrancerejoicing in God's goodnessTammiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00868702389044319771noreply@blogger.comBlogger228125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7890637968846058299.post-19299310497980177932014-06-24T10:22:00.000-06:002014-06-24T10:22:00.545-06:00Joni Earickson Tada--a hercules in the realm of suffering<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgbJFpQYON_KSXThl2MQyJCWbnbdrQ_iK0nyisHAwX0GXmfYQH0iEg1LLkCgCUeAyb0asc0uuZYFP4uOmZ-C6_eIkF47IAV2JV5GHks8wZnzWDi1eH-_KgD6gNH7zRFpsVltgZ7qXpolDj/s1600/a+place+of+healing.+.+.cover+photo+for+blog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgbJFpQYON_KSXThl2MQyJCWbnbdrQ_iK0nyisHAwX0GXmfYQH0iEg1LLkCgCUeAyb0asc0uuZYFP4uOmZ-C6_eIkF47IAV2JV5GHks8wZnzWDi1eH-_KgD6gNH7zRFpsVltgZ7qXpolDj/s1600/a+place+of+healing.+.+.cover+photo+for+blog.jpg" height="200" width="166" /></a></div>
Joni Eareckson Tada is most amazing--famous even--for her inner healing and overcoming spirit. For anyone who reads this blog who hasn't heard of her, let me summarize. As an athletic teen, she was paralyzed in a tragic swimming accident in 1967. Her wheelchair became her platform. With her exceptional gifts as artist, musician, writer, and speaker, she has spent her life advocating for the handicapped. For a more complete biographical sketch, check out <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joni_Eareckson_Tada" target="_blank">the Wikipedia article about her.</a><br />
<br />
She wrote <i>A Place of Healing</i> in 2010 as she was facing new levels of pain. During the same year she confronted cancer. In this book she shares her secrets for overcoming suffering. These are not trite answers, but solid weapons forged in the fire and pressure of her own experience.<br />
<br />
<i><a href="http://christianaudio.com/a-place-of-healing-joni-eareckson-tada" target="_blank">A Place of Healing</a></i> is available as an audio book at <a href="http://christianaudio.com/a-place-of-healing-joni-eareckson-tada" target="_blank">Christian Audio</a>. Print versions are also available at <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Place-Healing-Wrestling-Mysteries-Sovereignty/dp/1434765326" target="_blank">Amazon</a>, <a href="http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/place-of-healing-joni-eareckson-tada/1100570556?ean=9781434765321" target="_blank">Barnes and Noble</a>, and <a href="http://www.christianbook.com/place-healing-wrestling-mysteries-suffering-sovereignty/joni-tada/9781434765321/pd/765320" target="_blank">Christian Book Distributors</a>.Tammiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00868702389044319771noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7890637968846058299.post-10471887092020690492014-06-23T09:56:00.001-06:002014-06-23T09:56:20.760-06:00Mark 's contribution to my thoughts about sufferingMark's dad is not well. He has multiple health issues, but the one
that weighs heavy on us at this time is the way Alzheimers is pulling
him away from us.<br />
<br />
During a crisis in which he was
hospitalized, he worried all the time that Mark and his sister didn't
know. They both called him every day, but he didn't remember their
conversations. After years of being content with being the most
peripheral person in their lives--content also with them being some of
the most peripheral people in his life--suddenly he couldn't stop
thinking about them.<br />
<br />
Mark and I agreed that if he
wanted to go spend some extended time with his dad, that would be the
time. His dad could still remember who he is. He wanted to see Mark.
Mark could afford to take the time off work.<br />
<br />
So he was out of town visiting his dad for several weeks.<br />
<br />
While
he was there, I began working on this series on suffering, and once
when he called me I asked him about what words he associates with
suffering, what he thought was the cause, what was the solution.<br />
<br />
Here's
the backstory to his response. After Mark graduated from college with
his BA in Bible, he interned in a church near his father's home, Temple
Baptist. Every time we have visited his dad since then, we attend
church there. They are like family to us, and have supported us in
countless ways for the past 30 years. So while Mark was visiting his
dad last winter, he attended church with his dad, and also attended
whenever he could at Temple Baptist. Since he was there for several
weeks, they worked him into the schedule for both music and speaking.<br />
<br />
Coincidentally, he had chosen to speak on suffering.<br />
<br />
So he didn't answer my questions very thoroughly. But he left me with these gems from Scripture:<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
For it was fitting that he, for whom and by whom all things exist, in bringing many sons to glory, should make the founder of their salvation perfect through suffering.<br />(Hebrews 2:10 ESV)</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
In the days of his flesh, Jesus offered up prayers and supplications, with loud cries and tears, to him who was able to save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverence. Although he was a son, he learned obedience through what he suffered.(Hebrews 5:7-8 ESV)</blockquote>
<br />
This is a great comfort to me. <br />
<br />
Sometimes when some painful difficulty comes into my life, I feel like I'm being smacked on the head for doing something wrong, and I can't figure out what it is. These portions of scripture reveal that even Jesus benefited from suffering. God the Son, sinless and pure, was perfected, and he learned obedience. Since Jesus tried to avoid suffering, I'm not wrong to want to avoid it either. However, I hope that I can also learn from his courage and grace in in the face of necessary suffering. I would like to be perfected through it, and I would like to be a more obedient child of God. Tammiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00868702389044319771noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7890637968846058299.post-75822659989991029662014-02-04T11:34:00.001-07:002014-02-04T11:34:52.450-07:00HonorI sat in a conference session in November. The nurse was giving an overview of parenting classes that she teaches. She covered fetal alcohol syndrome. And she started a section on shaken infant syndrome. My gut contracted. I wanted to retch. I wanted to leave. I wanted to leave so I could retch. But I sat calmly and listened to her presentation. She explained that when the infant or small child is shaken, his brain actually turns to a kind of jelly.<br />
<br />
I know that jelly-brain feeling. <br />
<br />
I was shaken as a small child. More than once, but I can't say how many times. I know that the struggle to function, to survive, was so strong and afterward I would strive to focus, to respond to my environment. <br />
<br />
I know that if I was threatened to "stop or I'll shake you until your head rattles", my response was immediately docile based on painful experience. <br />
<br />
I don't know how many times that my siblings and I had our "heads knocked together", a bizarre form of punishment that involved grabbing two children by the hair on their heads and slamming their heads together. But I know that when my child and her cousin were threatened with the same treatment, they were defended. By me.<br />
<br />
I know what it feels like to be tween-aged and have one's hair snatched and one's head slammed against the wall. <br />
<br />
I know what a lot of different kinds of physical, mental, and emotional abuse feel like. I know despair.<br />
<br />
But I also know hope. And I know what healing feels like. And I know the terror that the broken shards of my shattered inner person will cut and harm the people I love; however, I also that those shards need not damage anyone--not even me. They can be made into a beautiful mosaic, catching and refracting light to everyone around me. <br />
<br />
I can't pretend I'm not broken. But I am confident that brokenness has been transformed into beauty.Tammiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00868702389044319771noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7890637968846058299.post-69503791324517993602013-07-12T05:00:00.000-06:002013-07-12T05:00:03.119-06:00What Lisa had to say about suffering when I asked her. . .
<br />
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Lisa and I have never met in person. </div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
One day I wrote a blog post. I was so terrified that I had "put myself out there" (like, i only have 5 followers, so you can see what a brave gal i am. ;)...) that I resolved to delete the post as. soon. as. I. got. home. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
And when I got into Blogger to delete it, there was this comment from this person named Lisa. So full of empathy and encouragement. So. The post did not get deleted. And I went over to her blog (Hephzibah at that time, Christians Under Construction now) and so began a long an mutually beneficial friendship.</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Last winter when I was contemplating suffering, I was eager to find out what Lisa would say. I know she has had some heavy burdens. . .too heavy to be borne. . .and that she crumpled under the pressure and heat. I have had the privilege of watching from halfway around the world as she and her husband Leo have emerged from the ashes of destroyed hopes and dreams, more vibrant and free and alive than ever before.</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
So I asked what words she associated with "suffering", what she thought was the cause, and where she turns to overcome. She responded:</div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Oh WOW! Those
questions seem like they should be simple, but... I'll have to think that out a
bit.</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Happy to do that
though.</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
I guess words I
would initially associate with suffering would be: pain, affliction, sadness,
distress, anxiety, sickness, exhausting, grief/sorrow, adversity, torment but
also; , testing, refining(fire), endurance, patience, discipline, dependance,
Comfort, Grace, Salvation</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
What causes it? well
that's a bit more complicated isn't it...</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
I think it's all
manner of things as I have said many times before... I always make sure I have
not brought it on myself first... or that it is not a disciplining or a 'giving
over to my sins' is God trying to get my attention to repent for something I have
been leaving out and it's damaging my life with Him.</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
</div>
</blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
These are true
reasons we can suffer! As uncomfortable as I think we often are with the
thought of them!</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
The other reasons
are; suffering for Jesus... being persecuted for speaking/standing for His
Truth. Preaching Jesus in anti-Jesus religious areas like Middle east for
example... or just the simple your work colleagues hate you 'cos they know
you're a 'God' person and they are convicted in their sin by you and your life
and they act out in hate!</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Refining fire and
pruning... God Himself allowing or orchestrating a period of suffering for a
purpose -through which (if we listen) He will teach us how to respond and make
this time work for us spiritually and relationally with Him...</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
Then I guess the
others we often don't focus on as Christians are - for one, living in a fallen world
where we are degenerating... the sins are piled high to heaven and the creation
is crying out...</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
also, if we live a
life given to sin we may have repercussions or consequences. I.E suffering a
disease which was contracted by sleeping around... or liver disease from
abusing alcohol... they are not 'put on' us!</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
something I read
earlier that made me think - Leo and I have said it of our experiences BUT the
reality of it often still does not seem real at times:</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
2 cor 1:3-7 Praise be to the
God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God
of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort
those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just
as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds
through Christ. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation;
if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient
endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm,
because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in
our comfort</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
</blockquote>
Tammiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00868702389044319771noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7890637968846058299.post-10722702768994305412013-07-11T17:44:00.000-06:002013-07-11T17:44:33.247-06:00What my friend Lillie responded when I asked her about suffering
<br />
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
When I was considering the idea of suffering and how we overcome the trials in our lives, one of the first people I thought of was my friend Lillie. She is a young woman who, in my opinion, had a childhood of deep suffering. She sincerely does not understand what a miracle she is. However, she epitomizes redemption. She is beautiful in every way, and a constant source of inspiration for me. So when I was pondering suffering and overcoming, she was one of my first friends that I asked about what she considered the causes of suffering, and then what was her life-line when the waves of suffering wash over her. Her thoughtful response follows:</div>
<br /><div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
This is just off the
top of my head, but I think of suffering's cause as a direct result of sin and
the curse. I don't believe God originally created the world with suffering in
mind, though He of course knew before creating it what Jesus would suffer. I
believe suffering isn't bad or evil in and of itself. (I'm barely beginning to
learn this.) It is a great gift and tool in God's hand--gift, in the sense that
it can be a warning, like when a child touches something hot after being told
"no," or in the case of [my brother]'s cancer, when he pursued help because of
pain. Whether suffering is consequences for one's own choice, someone else's
choice, or a natural catastrophe or life experience that seems random to
us, it can be very beneficial. Suffering seems to "deepen" some
people's spirits, and they are able to help bear other people's burdens and to
grow very compassionate and gracious through the suffering--as long as they
have a deepening, growing relationship with God. Even some "atheists"
who go through much can reach out to many people to do "good things."
I'm thinking of an "atheist" that Dave has worked for and tried to
speak to about God, who has been quite generous to us. "A lady in our
church gave a testimony today; she works at a place called "Options for
Women," and she has lost 3 babies, two being 2nd trimester stillborns. She
said God doesn't heal us from the pain, but with the pain. Maybe this will
sound weird, but before we had even begun to pursue having more children after
Kayty (she was a little over a year when we started feeling ready to pursue
more) I remember having almost a knowledge-thought-thing that I might have a
miscarriage or two in order to be more sympathetic and empathetic to other
ladies. That thought didn't sound appealing, but it definitely sounded okay at
the time, if that makes sense--I wasn't feeling morbid, just knew somehow that
it was probably one of God's purposes for me and that there was I guess
"peace" or "rightness" about it, I guess. (Btw, I am still
"dying" for Him to let me know if I get to give birth to more. I
definitely have human struggles!!) Well, I hope this rough little essay in
response to your questions (that I still can't believe you asked ME!!) was of
some help to you, even though you already know all of this! :o) "Who His
own self bare our sins in His own body on the tree, that we..." was the
first verse that came to mind. The Psalms are probably my favorite place to go
when I feel pain, from a "bad day" to the death or abuse of a dear
one. Suffering of any kind seems to be, I think, not God's first tool, but a
frequently effective one, that draws us closer to Him. When He begins to heal
us and reveal to us that He is as perfectly good as Scripture says, we can't
help but worship and adore Him, and that is the greatest source of joy and
ecstasy there is! The grace far outweighs the pain. I didn't like how I grew
up, though grateful for the Bible knowledge and some other things, but the
Steeses and my best friend with her family and you wonderful Wordens adopting
Jim and I were a gift far greater than I'd ever imagined. Psalm 111 is my
"9-11" Psalm to call God in emergency or whenever. It doesn't talk
about suffering but about how good God is. I also like Isaiah 12 and Psalm 147.
"Bearing one another's burdens" also came to mind. Better go. Would
love to read your blog(s). And to hear what YOU have to say about it. Much love
to you.</div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
The older we get, the more we
realize we have to learn, I guess. I agree with you about His individual-style
teaching. I heard someone say once that grace comes in different colors for the
different colors of pain or suffering, which is essentially what you were
saying, I think. I love how you put things, and I really enjoy conversing with
you. You're a great treasure of a friend! Have a felicitous day! </div>
</blockquote>
Tammiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00868702389044319771noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7890637968846058299.post-50501663595200720212013-07-10T14:12:00.000-06:002013-07-10T14:16:24.692-06:00thought-provoking<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b> </b>i thought these words (which i reformatted) from Sarah Markley at {in}courage were worthy of contemplation:</div>
<br />
<a href="http://www.incourage.me/2013/07/for-when-we-have-to-wait.html" target="_blank"><b>So next time we are forced to wait, </b></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.incourage.me/2013/07/for-when-we-have-to-wait.html" target="_blank"><b>for a child, </b></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.incourage.me/2013/07/for-when-we-have-to-wait.html" target="_blank"><b>for an
ever-late husband, </b></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.incourage.me/2013/07/for-when-we-have-to-wait.html" target="_blank"><b>for a project or a venture </b></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.incourage.me/2013/07/for-when-we-have-to-wait.html" target="_blank"><b>to be born into existence, </b></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.incourage.me/2013/07/for-when-we-have-to-wait.html" target="_blank"><b> maybe we can rest in the waiting, </b></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.incourage.me/2013/07/for-when-we-have-to-wait.html" target="_blank"><b>knowing that it’s making us ready </b></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.incourage.me/2013/07/for-when-we-have-to-wait.html" target="_blank"><b>for
the next thing.</b></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.incourage.me/2013/07/for-when-we-have-to-wait.html" target="_blank"><br /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.incourage.me/2013/07/for-when-we-have-to-wait.html" target="_blank">That is the grace in life: </a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.incourage.me/2013/07/for-when-we-have-to-wait.html" target="_blank">that even in the long night </a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.incourage.me/2013/07/for-when-we-have-to-wait.html" target="_blank">before the morning, </a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.incourage.me/2013/07/for-when-we-have-to-wait.html" target="_blank"><br /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.incourage.me/2013/07/for-when-we-have-to-wait.html" target="_blank">there is goodness even there.</a></div>
Tammiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00868702389044319771noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7890637968846058299.post-30337112407113221402013-07-01T07:31:00.001-06:002013-07-01T07:31:59.703-06:00i wonderis our ability to give generously<br />
dependent<br />
on our ability to receive abundance freely?<br />
<br />
is our ability to give acceptance<br />
enhanced by our ability to receive acceptance?<br />
<br />
does our ability to fearlessly love<br />
grow out of our ability<br />
to freely receive love?<br />
<br />
is our ability to be fruitful<br />
always dependent<br />
on our ability to receive nourishment?<br />
<br />
can we give anything<br />
that we haven't received first?<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_-vmM-tZHMLmct_mBhZoZfMDSXjP6K_LoTdINhyphenhyphenCDQmkpWCF5qruM65d1pjpPDtGHStbtFYGx0ZOG-I1zPLufsLwGnzbvSx4OhwocRLTe727WrfVSbZE2mQmBdJ1iw4S_azS5D4bJg8OO/s1600/100_8507.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_-vmM-tZHMLmct_mBhZoZfMDSXjP6K_LoTdINhyphenhyphenCDQmkpWCF5qruM65d1pjpPDtGHStbtFYGx0ZOG-I1zPLufsLwGnzbvSx4OhwocRLTe727WrfVSbZE2mQmBdJ1iw4S_azS5D4bJg8OO/s640/100_8507.JPG" width="425" /></a></div>
<br />Tammiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00868702389044319771noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7890637968846058299.post-91627772194722334272013-06-30T07:52:00.000-06:002013-06-30T07:52:06.105-06:00art and mehere's the thing.<br />
<br />
i've been gifted and online art course.<br />
<br />
i have poor eye-hand coordination.<br />
never had good fine motor skills.<br />
legally blind.<br />
<br />
and i wasn't given this<br />
so that i could become a better artist. ;)<br />
<br />
i was given this so that i could share<br />
a piece of my favorite artist's life.<br />
<br />
that would be my one and only child.<br />
an artist.<br />
<br />
and i was happy to observe.<br />
but then a quiet voice spoke within my heart:<br />
i've been given an art course.<br />
<br />
well.<br />
i might not be greatly gifted this way,<br />
but i could grow in the small gifts i have.<br />
<br />
so the pre-course challenge<br />
was to feel free to make messy art,<br />
and all those artists are dealing with<br />
perfectionism.<br />
<br />
and me?<br />
well.<br />
in a certain way i am too.<br />
<br />
so here is my art.<br />
messy.<br />
--and with an irony that makes me smile,<br />
it is a statement against perfectionism--<br />
because i really don't have the ability<br />
to make any other kind of {visual} art.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMKf2Ph1Gj6EmdbYsQox9HZRWPq87N274p2jSR3WmCj4C3yQryZEH0YdgfI_4k-BSGFHv78HMBSgMw5XGY-_tIzoXB_4s-NHhHI3fi8ds-zcJEDd6oCqm0XcGsP6tobhDOjwA35-_DJJug/s1600/100_8504.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMKf2Ph1Gj6EmdbYsQox9HZRWPq87N274p2jSR3WmCj4C3yQryZEH0YdgfI_4k-BSGFHv78HMBSgMw5XGY-_tIzoXB_4s-NHhHI3fi8ds-zcJEDd6oCqm0XcGsP6tobhDOjwA35-_DJJug/s400/100_8504.JPG" width="266" /></a></div>
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Tammiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00868702389044319771noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7890637968846058299.post-82805774489604451732013-03-11T00:30:00.000-06:002013-03-11T00:30:02.281-06:00Perspectives on Suffering.When I was working through the series on guilt, pertinent blog posts appeared in my feed, and I passed them on in my blog.<br />
<br />
When I started thinking about suffering (November!) I started looking for blog posts on suffering, thinking I'd have more to share this time around. Not until this week have I been given any additional perspective in this way. <br />
<br />
So here are some gleanings from my reading this week:<br />
<br />
From The Contemplative Cottage, <a href="http://contemplativecottage.com/2013/03/04/all-things-new/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+TheContemplativeCottage+%28The+Contemplative+Cottage%29" target="_blank">an extended quote from <i>Christ the Tiger</i> </a>by Thomas Howard.<br />
<br />
John Piper speaks about<a href="http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/how-christians-prepare-for-suffering?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+DGBlog+%28Desiring+God+Blog%29" target="_blank"> preparing for (inevitable) suffering</a>. <br />
<br />
Tony Reinke reflects on what John Newton, author of Amazing Grace, <a href="http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/the-infallible-pilot?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+DGBlog+%28Desiring+God+Blog%29" target="_blank">wrote to his young step-daughter about the inevitable hazards of life</a>.<br />
<br />
Lovely Holly Gerth wrote about <a href="http://www.incourage.me/2013/03/why-i-might-get-hurt-doesnt-have-to-stop-you.html" target="_blank">not letting the fear of getting hurt dominate your decisions</a>. <br />
<br />
I follow the {in}courage bloom book club, and one day this week the vlog was about <a href="http://www.incourage.me/2013/03/prayer-chapter-12-prayer-of-the-heart-chapter-13-meditative-prayer-and-chapter-14-contemplative-prayer.html" target="_blank">Prayer of the Heart, Meditative Prayer, and Contemplative Prayer. </a><br />
<br />
Perhaps this kind of praying happens most naturally when you are flat on your back or flat on your face.<br />
<br />
The way that intense suffering humbles and empties a person may prepare her for deep communion with her God. Tammiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00868702389044319771noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7890637968846058299.post-46106789023806468842013-03-09T05:57:00.002-07:002013-03-09T05:57:27.473-07:00ExpressionAngela Nazworth published an article about "<a href="http://www.incourage.me/2013/03/when-youre-expected-to-pull-it-together.html" target="_blank">When You're Expected to 'Pull It Together'" </a>on {in}courage which I thought was helpful in considering suffering.<br />
<br />
My response to her article is asking myself some questions. Am I comfortable with letting other people express their grief, both privately and publicly if necessary? Am I comfortable with grieving through my own griefs? Am I ashamed when my griefs overflow outside of my privacy? Can I trust God to let appropriate expressions of grief be good?Tammiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00868702389044319771noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7890637968846058299.post-70840435669276109662013-03-09T00:00:00.000-07:002013-03-09T00:00:07.830-07:00Suppression<h5 class="uiStreamMessage userContentWrapper" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}">
<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent">"Suppressing your hurts is like not tending to a bullet wound. Eventually you will bleed out. Don't numb pain, express it." Lecrae</span></span></h5>
Tammiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00868702389044319771noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7890637968846058299.post-55009432414160963722013-03-08T06:15:00.002-07:002013-03-08T06:15:47.589-07:00CourageHe has suffered horrific childhood abuse of every kind. In one of our first conversations, he said that he wanted to tell me something really funny, and he laughed while he told me a first-hand story of being exploited. <br />
<br />
I felt a little ill.<br />
<br />
His survival skills were phenomenal, but his ability to move into adult life with healthy relationships had been seriously crippled. <br />
<br />
Over the course of nearly a dozen years I have had the privilege of watching this youth grow into manhood. He has struggled to heal and be free of the damage of the past.<br />
<br />
He joined the Marines and served in Iraq. He married and had children. He has nurtured his children. He graduated from college and entered graduate school.<br />
<br />
He has struggled philosophically, since he is in truth a philosopher. What is truth? Does anything really exist? He came to the point where he knew confidently that at least one thing really existed: love. He knew that he loved his son. His daughter. His wife. And from there he began to realize that there is a kind of truth that cannot be quantified, but which exists.<br />
<br />
In the first part of December he was given the gift of faith in God, in Jesus. At the same time, he was given healing for his heart and soul. <br />
<br />
A few weeks later we were talking on the phone, and he gave me two pieces of news. He has cancer. And he and his wife are expecting their third child.<br />
<br />
Grief and joy mingled. Healing followed by fresh suffering. Fresh grief. Fresh pain. And fresh hope.<br />
<br />
He told me once that after his surgery, he had a couple days where he was tempted to think angrily, "Haven't I suffered enough?" But his foundational understanding is that suffering is good. . .or results in good. There are good reasons for suffering.<br />
<br />
Much of this is beyond my ability to comprehend. But I feel privileged to observe and love this amazing manchild. I love to see him making such tremendous effort and succeeding.<br />
<br />
I am inspired by his courage.Tammiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00868702389044319771noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7890637968846058299.post-9595686922372173012013-03-07T00:00:00.000-07:002013-03-07T00:00:06.126-07:00Is Suffering Evil?We've known Daniel almost his whole life. He is now in his early
30's, and has long rejected God. Not without reason. He's seen some
fairly awful things said and done in God's name.<br />
<br />
In
recent correspondence with my husband, Daniel revealed that though he is
an atheist, he believes in absolute truth. Mark asked him what he
believes is absolute truth, and Daniel responded that he believes that
pleasure is good, and suffering/pain is evil.<br />
<br />
I thought of sadism. And masochism. In these, both pain and pleasure are probably evil.<br />
<br />
I thought of the fitness motto: no pain, no gain. A little pain may bring long-term benefit--or healthy pleasure. <br />
<br />
I thought of life-saving surgeries.<br />
<br />
How about labor and delivery?<br />
<br />
These
are all examples of physical suffering, but I wonder if the same
concepts apply to mental or spiritual suffering? Are there mental
pleasures that are destructive to oneself or others? Are there painful
disciplines that bring long term benefits? Are there piercing losses
that bring long-term mental or spiritual health? Can pain and suffering
birth new spiritual and mental life?Tammiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00868702389044319771noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7890637968846058299.post-51747385404891806702013-03-06T00:00:00.000-07:002013-03-06T00:00:01.048-07:00suffering--causesThis list was also gleaned from conversations with friends:<br />
<br />
*people in close relationships<br />
*betrayal<br />
*illness<br />
*loss<br />
*death<br />
*sin<br />
*covetousness/discontent ("We think we should have something we don't")<br />
*criticism<br />
*rejection<br />
*bad choices<br />
*discipline<br />
*justice<br />
*persecution <br />
<br />
What causes you pain?Tammiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00868702389044319771noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7890637968846058299.post-70979376228003937142013-03-05T00:00:00.000-07:002013-03-05T00:00:10.477-07:00suffering--word associationsThe council of friends is scattered right now. One is snow-birding in California, and another has had a number of business related trips. <br />
<br />
However, I talked with each, and also number of other friends who I know have experienced significant suffering. Some of the comments I will give individual posts, but from different conversations, I collect the following word associations for suffering:<br />
<br />
sacrifice<br />
affliction<br />
anguish<br />
pain<br />
grief<br />
weakness<br />
discouragement<br />
despair<br />
hardship<br />
persecution<br />
poverty<br />
exhaustion<span><a class="theColor" href="http://thesaurus.com/browse/torture" rel="nofollow"></a>
</span><br />
buffeted<br />
sin<br />
<br />
From Thesaurus.com, I found "suffering" defined as "pain, agony". Synonyms listed were: <span>
<a class="theColor" href="http://click.thesaurus.com/click/nn1ov4?clksite=thes&clkquery=DBA05E3F696FE972B42B6B91FAE91234&clkpage=the&clkimpr=UTTi8bimvEYfnBEc&clkld=0&clkorgn=0&clken=1clk&clkord=0&clkblk=d&clktemp=mid&clkmod=1clk&clkitem=adversity&clkdest=http%3A%2F%2Fthesaurus.com%2Fbrowse%2Fadversity" rel="nofollow">adversity</a><span id="hotword">, </span><a class="theColor" href="http://thesaurus.com/browse/affliction" rel="nofollow">affliction</a><span id="hotword">, </span><a class="theColor" href="http://thesaurus.com/browse/anguish" rel="nofollow">anguish</a><span id="hotword">, </span><a class="theColor" href="http://thesaurus.com/browse/difficulty" rel="nofollow">difficulty</a><span id="hotword">, </span><a class="theColor" href="http://thesaurus.com/browse/discomfort" rel="nofollow">discomfort</a><span id="hotword">, </span><a class="theColor" href="http://thesaurus.com/browse/distress" rel="nofollow">distress</a><span id="hotword">, <span id="hotword" name="hotword">dolor,</span> </span><a class="theColor" href="http://thesaurus.com/browse/hardship" rel="nofollow">hardship</a><span id="hotword">, <span id="hotword" name="hotword">martyrdom,</span> </span><a class="theColor" href="http://thesaurus.com/browse/misery" rel="nofollow">misery</a><span id="hotword">, </span><a class="theColor" href="http://thesaurus.com/browse/misfortune" rel="nofollow">misfortune</a><span id="hotword">, </span><a class="theColor" href="http://thesaurus.com/browse/ordeal" rel="nofollow">ordeal</a><span id="hotword">, </span><a class="theColor" href="http://thesaurus.com/browse/passion" rel="nofollow">passion</a><span id="hotword">, </span><a class="theColor" href="http://thesaurus.com/browse/torment" rel="nofollow">torment</a><span id="hotword">, </span><a class="theColor" href="http://thesaurus.com/browse/torture" rel="nofollow">torture</a>.</span><br />
<br />
<span>Wikipedia defined "suffering" broadly as "</span><span>an experience of unpleasantness and aversion associated with the perception of harm or threat of harm in an individual." The article further explained that suffering can be subdivided into physical suffering, mental suffering, emotional suffering, psychological suffering, and even spiritual suffering. In addition: </span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span>[Suffering] </span>may come in all degrees of intensity, from mild to intolerable. Factors
of duration and frequency of occurrence usually compound that of
intensity. Attitudes toward suffering may vary widely, in the sufferer
or other people, according to how much it is regarded as avoidable or
unavoidable, useful or useless, deserved or undeserved.</blockquote>
<br />
So a paper cut causes a certain level of suffering, and betrayal by a friend causes a different level of suffering. But the intensity of pain felt by each will differ (stating the obvious there).<br />
<br />
What is the worst thing you have ever suffered?<br />
<br />Tammiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00868702389044319771noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7890637968846058299.post-43852538585396378702013-03-04T10:39:00.000-07:002013-03-04T11:03:16.953-07:00Introduction to SufferingWhen my council of friends was concluding our reflection on guilt--and in the journey some significant deliverance from it--Lisa from Ireland emailed me and asked if maybe after the new year we could explore the concept of suffering in the same way. I agreed and starting meditating on suffering.<br />
<br />
Toward the end of December a significant chain of events led to major changes in my life. In the culture in which I live, there is a lot of violence. Someone new to the area commented that the judge is too free with handing out restraining orders. I disagree. Having conversed with quite a few of the people who have asked for restraining orders as well as those who have had restraining orders against them, I would observe that they seem to have been served fairly. <br />
<br />
Avoiding the back story (I still can't talk of it easily), I will say that a woman who has hatred for me went from stonily glaring at me every time she saw me to unrestrained public verbal attacks, not only on me but also on other of my family members. These attacks have happened both at church and at the only grocery store (currently) in town. My understanding is that we have reason to get a restraining order. However, we don't feel free to take her to court, nor to make any more trouble in her life than she is already making for herself. Nevertheless, we still feel a need to avoid needlessly placing ourselves in danger. <br />
<br />
This has led to significant lifestyle changes. It has also led to a spiritual struggle with anger and fear. Summarizing hours and days of internal battle, I can truthfully say that the Lord has given us the ability to love her and care about her well-being. He has also given us the ability to be wise and avoid unnecessary provocation. All this is very humbling. Humiliating even.<br />
<br />
So I didn't write about suffering when the new year started.<br />
<br />
Because I was so shattered.<br />
<br />
Then I was going to make it the subject of thought during Lent. Well, Lent is well underway, and nothing has been written.<br />
<br />
This morning I have worked out and and listened to podcasts and watched vlogs and started dinner. I folded laundry and put it away. <br />
<br />
And there is no avoiding it any longer.<br />
<br />
What is suffering? Why do we suffer? What good is it? or is it evil? How can we suffer well? How can we suffer badly? What is the worst kind of suffering?<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Tammiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00868702389044319771noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7890637968846058299.post-29241188803371728902013-01-13T08:18:00.000-07:002013-01-13T08:18:49.395-07:00repostFrom friends' facebook posts:<br />
<br />
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage userContentWrapper" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}">
<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent">"God
does not send us two classes of providences--one good, and one evil.
All are good. Affliction is God's goodness in the seed. It takes time
for a seed to grow and to develop into fruitfulness. Many of the best
things of our lives--come to us first as pain, suffering, earthly loss
or disappointment--black seeds without beauty--but afterward they grow
into the rich harvest of righteousness! J. R. Miller"</span></span></h5>
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage userContentWrapper" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}">
<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent"> "It
never seizes to amaze me how blessed my life has been for so many
years! God loves doing the impossible in my life and I love it!!" C. Z.</span></span></h5>
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage userContentWrapper" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}">
<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent"></span></span></h5>
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage userContentWrapper" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}">
<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent">I so totally concur with both!</span></span></h5>
Tammiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00868702389044319771noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7890637968846058299.post-55391086334422932912013-01-06T06:45:00.001-07:002013-01-06T06:45:12.454-07:00Love adds chocolate?<h5 class="uiStreamMessage userContentWrapper" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}">
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent">(I copied this from a friend--it's a li'l cheesy<span style="font-size: large;">, but swe<span style="font-size: large;">et</span></span>. . .<span style="font-size: large;">)</span></span></span></span></span></span></h5>
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage userContentWrapper" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}">
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent"><span style="font-size: large;">Love </span> Adds a Little Chocolate</span></span></span></span></span></h5>
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage userContentWrapper" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}">
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent">
A house is a house<span style="font-size: large;">--</span>until love comes through the door, that is. And
love transforms a house into a very special home for very special
people: your family.</span></span></span></span></span></h5>
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage userContentWrapper" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}">
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent">Money, of course, can build a charming house, but only love can furnish it with a feeling of home. </span></span></span></span></span></h5>
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage userContentWrapper" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}">
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent">Duty can pack an adequate sack lunch, but love may decide to enclose a little note inside.<span class="text_exposed_show"> </span></span></span></span></span></span></h5>
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage userContentWrapper" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}">
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent"><span class="text_exposed_show">Money can provide a television set, but love controls it and cares enough to say 'no' and take the guff that comes with it.</span></span></span></span></span></span></h5>
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage userContentWrapper" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}">
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent"><span class="text_exposed_show">Obligation sends the children to bed on time, but love tucks the
covers in around their necks and passes out kisses and hugs. </span></span></span></span></span></span></h5>
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage userContentWrapper" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}">
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent"><span class="text_exposed_show">Obligation can cook a meal, but love might embellish the table with a potted ivy trailing around slender candles. </span></span></span></span></span></span></h5>
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage userContentWrapper" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}">
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent"><span class="text_exposed_show">Duty writes many letters, but love adds joy. . .a joke or a picture or a fresh stick of gum inside.</span></span></span></span></span></span></h5>
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage userContentWrapper" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}">
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent"><span class="text_exposed_show">Compulsion keeps a sparkling house, but love and prayer stand a better chance of producing a happy family.</span></span></span></span></span></span></h5>
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage userContentWrapper" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}">
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent"><span class="text_exposed_show">Duty gets offended quickly if it isn't appreciated, but love learns to laugh a lot and to work for the sheer joy of doing it.</span></span></span></span></span></span></h5>
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage userContentWrapper" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}">
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent"><span class="text_exposed_show">Obligation can pour a glass of milk, but quite often, love adds a little chocolate.</span></span></span></span></span></span></h5>
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage userContentWrapper" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}">
<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent"><span class="text_exposed_show"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">Author unknown </span></span></span></span></span></span></h5>
Tammiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00868702389044319771noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7890637968846058299.post-18716093472551020082012-12-30T22:28:00.000-07:002012-12-30T22:28:58.725-07:00The Best of 2012<b>2012 had been one of the best (though sometimes hardest) years of my life. So when I saw this list from <a href="http://www.incourage.me/2012/12/the-best-of-everything-2012-and-a-giveaway.html" target="_blank">{in}courage</a>, I knew I wanted to celebrate by recording these:</b><br />
<br />
<b>The best recipe you couldn’t <i>not</i> make again? </b>Dear li'l 3-year-old grandson did not like my homemade venison sausage (It's too 'picy, Gramma!) so I switched out the pepper with minced garlic, which met his approval. <br />
<br />
<b>The best book you couldn’t put down? </b>Well, I read <i>Knowing God</i> by J.I. Packer at least half a dozen times, and read through the whole Harry Potter series for the first time. :) <br />
<br />
<b>The best song that you just couldn’t get out of your head? </b>10,000 Reasons. :)<br />
<br />
<b>The jeans that fit best?</b>Haha. well. Jeggings? Then, after doing the diastasis exercises (see the best link) I fit back into all my regular jeans again. :) I don't know the brands. <br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>The tool/gizmo/idea that worked best? </b>(It’s true: One good idea in hand is worth two good friends knowing about it too!) That would be the Mix and Masher from Pampered Chef:<br />
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<br />
<br />
<b>The risk that returned best?</b> (<b>It’s why angels always say it first: “Do not be afraid.” You never start living until you stop fearing.</b>) Maybe taking a 2-year-old and a 4-year-old camping for the first time? and the second time? Pure delight!<br />
<br />
The best link of 2102? One my daughter pinned for me on Pinterest: http://inspiredrd.com/2012/06/dear-diastasis-recti-im-so-over-you.html<br />
<br />
The best laugh? The things my grandchildren say. . .and do. . .and pretend!<br />
<br />
The best living? Oh, living the life God has for me. . .being who he wants me to be, doing the next thing, knowing I can be honest with him, not wanting to hide. . .And I had more purposeful fun than I have ever had in any year of my life! Camping, picnics, trips, weddings, parties, games, movies, books. . .and so much pleasure and joy in doing them with people I love!<br />
<br />
The best thing you didn’t want to do — but you did anyway? (<b>Happiness comes to them who pursue hard things.</b>) :) Starting my council of friends was so hard. . .but they have been one of the biggest blessings in my life for a long time!<br />
<br />
What was the best habit? After reading <i>The Happiness Project </i>by Gretchen Rubin, I made a li'l chart to help me remember to send birthday cards and make phone calls to reach out to people. <br />
<br />
The best holiday? Passover/Resurrection Sunday!<br />
<br />
The best gift? The best ever, and every day, is that God gave us himself!<br />
<br />
The best sacrifice? (<b>The best way to <i>have</i> more is to <i>give</i> more…</b>) Taking care of my mom for a few weeks--difficult but rewarding! And thankfully she is much better now.<br />
<br />
<br />
Tammiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00868702389044319771noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7890637968846058299.post-48246229912256651692012-12-12T15:14:00.000-07:002012-12-12T15:14:36.972-07:00fighting perfectionismI was just remembering a conversation with one of my college roommates when we were students. I was upset because I had made less than a 100% on a test. Not that this was all that uncommon, but missing anything felt like failure to me.<br />
<br />
Linda could not understand my frustration. I had made an A.<br />
<br />
"Did you do your best?" she inquired.<br />
<br />
I thought a moment, and then replied truthfully, "Yes."<br />
<br />
"Well, that's all God expects from you. And who are *you* to expect more from someone than God does?"Tammiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00868702389044319771noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7890637968846058299.post-9744748616049581652012-11-21T18:48:00.001-07:002012-11-21T18:48:47.014-07:00the councilLast Monday was our last council of friends for awhile. The original concept was to gather a group of women that I knew were seekers of truth and also gracious, and to set aside some time to seek God's heart on some subject. Before this, I had begun to feel that I was withdrawn and reserved, and the Lord seemed to be asking me to change--to be more open to trustworthy people, to make some heart-to-heart friends. At the first meeting, the consensus was that feelings of guilt were over-whelming and crippling some of us. So we pursued that subject for 7 weeks, with the desire to overcome the crippling effects of guilt.<br />
<br />
We faced wrongs we had done,<br />
and asked for our joy to be renewed.<br />
<br />
We acknowledged that sometimes<br />
we feel guilty<br />
when we haven't done anything wrong,<br />
just failed to meet<br />
some arbitrary goal--<br />
we overcame perfectionism. <br />
<br />
We cried together. . .<br />
every week. . .<br />
<br />
and we counseled<br />
and encouraged one another.<br />
<br />
We upheld each other in prayer<br />
and meditated on a few passages of scripture.<br />
<br />
We thought about guilt<br />
and grace<br />
and forgiveness<br />
and healing<br />
and joy. <br />
<br />
And the end of seven weeks arrived,<br />
and we were sad<br />
to see the end,<br />
but glad to have walked this path<br />
together.<br />
<br />
Maybe we will gather again,<br />
and continue to heal<br />
and feast<br />
and become stronger<br />
in grace.<br />
<br />
Tammiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00868702389044319771noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7890637968846058299.post-61422483078725721942012-11-20T06:07:00.000-07:002012-11-20T06:07:39.947-07:00mr. and mrsI love weddings.<br />
<br />
I like buying gifts, but if I don't know a couple well, I'm not always sure what to get for them. Gift cards or money can be a great option--plus the shipping costs on them are optimal. ;)<br />
<br />
However, I think I have found the perfect, all-around wedding gift:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyL3Ne-d0mQD2LMOUsQSkS0CTmiN0p_uxRxrX4gcQSwHeQLYvYwPs0zWCQ4buMrlDPBxfiuRrgiJf_nhSRkNG9LaRcJWA0RRaGiehsgCC9ex6Ym9bDCydhsbPtoNFvIwO-aCsTO8d11sBG/s1600/mr+and+mrs--dayspring.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyL3Ne-d0mQD2LMOUsQSkS0CTmiN0p_uxRxrX4gcQSwHeQLYvYwPs0zWCQ4buMrlDPBxfiuRrgiJf_nhSRkNG9LaRcJWA0RRaGiehsgCC9ex6Ym9bDCydhsbPtoNFvIwO-aCsTO8d11sBG/s320/mr+and+mrs--dayspring.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
<img alt="" class="zoomImage" src="http://www.dayspring.com/assets/item/zoom/yhst-93128105900816_2165_8096059.jpeg" style="display: none; height: 600px; left: -134.286px; position: absolute; top: -63.5714px; width: 600px; z-index: 10;" title="" />They can be found at: <a href="http://www.dayspring.com/mr_and_mrs_gift_set/" target="_blank">dayspring</a>.<br />
<br />
One of the couples that I sent this to last summer sent the following charming note:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Thank you so much for the Mr. and Mrs. mugs. They are totally awesome, and one of the best things we got. . .</blockquote>
<br />
I think they're awesome too--so much that I'm sharing this little story without Dayspring even knowing, or asking, or giving, or such. . .<br />
<br />
Have I ever mentioned that I love Dayspring? I'm so thankful that the artists and manufacturers and business people who are gifted in their various ways make these cool things available for people like me. to give, or to keep.<br />
<br />
<br />Tammiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00868702389044319771noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7890637968846058299.post-35295593864726466742012-11-12T06:30:00.000-07:002012-11-12T06:30:01.917-07:00the forgiveness imperative<div id="p40018015_07-1">
<span class="verse-num woc" id="v40018015-1">[Jesus said] </span><span class="woc">“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.</span> <span class="verse-num woc" id="v40018016-1"> </span><span class="woc">But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.</span> <span class="verse-num woc" id="v40018017-1"> </span><span class="woc">If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.</span> <span class="verse-num woc" id="v40018018-1"> </span><span class="woc">Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed<span class="footnote"></span> in heaven.</span> <span class="verse-num woc" id="v40018019-1"></span><span class="woc">Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.</span> <span class="verse-num woc" id="v40018020-1"></span><span class="woc">For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”</span></div>
<br />
<div id="p40018021_07-1">
<span class="verse-num" id="v40018021-1"></span>Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” <span class="verse-num" id="v40018022-1"> </span>Jesus said to him, <span class="woc">“I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.</span></div>
<div id="p40018023_01-1">
<span class="verse-num woc" id="v40018023-1"></span><span class="woc"> </span></div>
<div id="p40018023_01-1">
<span class="woc">“Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants.<span class="footnote"> </span></span><span class="verse-num woc" id="v40018024-1"> </span><span class="woc">When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents.<span class="footnote"> </span></span><span class="verse-num woc" id="v40018025-1"></span><span class="woc">And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made.</span> <span class="verse-num woc" id="v40018026-1"> </span><span class="woc">So the servant<span class="footnote"> </span>fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’</span> <span class="verse-num woc" id="v40018027-1"></span><span class="woc">And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.</span> <span class="verse-num woc" id="v40018028-1"></span><span class="woc">But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii<span class="footnote"></span> and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’</span> <span class="verse-num woc" id="v40018029-1"></span><span class="woc">So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’</span> <span class="verse-num woc" id="v40018030-1"></span><span class="woc">He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt.</span> <span class="verse-num woc" id="v40018031-1"></span><span class="woc">When
his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly
distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had
taken place.</span> <span class="verse-num woc" id="v40018032-1"></span><span class="woc">Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me.</span> <span class="verse-num woc" id="v40018033-1"></span><span class="woc">And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’</span> <span class="verse-num woc" id="v40018034-1"></span><span class="woc">And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers,<span class="footnote"> </span>until he should pay all his debt.</span> <span class="verse-num woc" id="v40018035-1"></span><span class="woc">So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart."</span></div>
Tammiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00868702389044319771noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7890637968846058299.post-80417524398176022832012-11-11T19:20:00.000-07:002012-11-11T19:20:50.365-07:00guilt tripsnot the same as true guilt,<br />
which is based on actual wrong-doing<br />
honestly faced and named--<br />
<br />
a guilt trip is a feeling<br />
of having done wrong,<br />
of failing,<br />
when you or i haven't<br />
really.<br />
<br />
sometimes<br />
we don't realize<br />
that we feel guilty<br />
nor how it can be bondage<br />
to think something is wrong<br />
when it is really necessary,<br />
or right.<br />
<br />
my council of friends identified<br />
one of these in my mindset<br />
last week:<br />
<br />
it is not pride<br />
to name the gifts<br />
innate to one's person,<br />
created there by God,<br />
nor those that are developed<br />
by the fires of affliction. <br />
<br />
so, i am trying<br />
to name those good things<br />
that define me,<br />
to own them<br />
and name them<br />
and not feel guilty in doing so.Tammiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00868702389044319771noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7890637968846058299.post-1584855463064392282012-11-02T07:15:00.001-06:002012-11-02T07:15:42.694-06:00beauty for ashesWhen the council of friends met on Monday morning, we reflected on our meditation of Isaiah 61 for the week. I would like to share the gleanings of our discussion, though I seem to have lost the flow of it.<br />
<br />
God gives us a crown of beauty for ashes. The ashes have to come before the beauty, because the fire that leaves the ashes burns out our guilt and *stuff*. Then there is a place for the beauty with which he wants to crown us.<br />
<br />
Ashes are bitter to our taste, and guilt is bitter to our souls. But God will crown us with beauty--it's a process.<br />
<br />
Guilt is like a wound. There is some immediate relief with confession and turning for the wrong/damaging attitudes and behavior, like when a wound is bandaged there is some immediate relief from the pain. But the whole healing process takes time, and there is still a wound under the bandage until it's all healed.<br />
<br />
When we start to heal from guilt, we are conscious of pain for awhile, then there may be a period of time that the pain doesn't demand attention or distract us, and then suddenly we may realize that we haven't had a problem for awhile. One of the friends shared that this is like her children when they scrape their knees too. They are conscious of the wound for the first couple days, then start being able to act without continual consciousness of the pain. They will notice a few days later that the wound has healed.<br />
<br />
In the cross of Christ, God has taken our sin and guilt, and given us his purity. It seems like this means that he is taking the responsibility for the wrong we've done and for making it right, not only for ourselves but also for those we have hurt with our wrong-doing. If we refuse to let go of our guilt and give it to him, there is nothing we can do to bring healing to those we have hurt. But if we let him take the guilt, he is able to mend the wounds we have caused in others. We can ask him to turn the ashes and bitterness we have brought to their lives into a crown of beauty for them, that he will redeem their suffering to be something strong and beautiful. <br />
<br />
He is able to mend and beautify the wounds we have received from others by their wrong-doing.Tammiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00868702389044319771noreply@blogger.com0