deserving

i deserved the wrath of God and eternal hell.

i pursued the well-being
of the Kingdom of Me
and my rights.

what did i care
about my creator,
his kingdom,
his rights?

i saw this as my world,
but in reality
it is his world
and i am his guest.

i acted like a reigning queen,
superimposing my mandates
over his.
how futile and evil!

i deserved hell;
he extended kindness.

so when i face illness,
or poverty,
or humiliation,
or betrayal,
i don't try to figure out what i did to deserve this.
maybe i don't deserve it.

but i deserve hell.
this is only light affliction,
and it only lasts a little while.

furthermore, i am his,
he is mine,
and his mercy endures forever.

reflections on propitiation, Romans 1-5, Ephesians 1-2, and Job

pleasure

a response to psalm 133

look,
you can see how enjoyable it is
to be with families
in which each member
treats the others
with unfailing courtesy and respect.

it is as beautiful
as someone being consecrated wholly
to serve God.

it is as refreshing
as a heavy dew that nourishes life.

in this environment
God sends blessing.

remembered

a response to psalm 132

Lord,
remember all of my afflictions and act in my behalf.
remember that i want you to live near me.
let me be clothed with righteousness.
fill my heart with joyful songs.
please do not turn me away.

you have not forgotten me.
you gave me my request,
living with me and within me.
you covered me with your salvation.
my heart overflows with the jubilant songs
which you have given.
you have not forgotten us;
you have delivered us from our enemies.

requests

uninfluenced
you are yourself.

i am silenced before your power.
i am silenced
by the magnitude of your kindness to me
when my heart is scorched with pain.

please, come near me
clean the wounds
that you caused in your compassion.

fill my heart with joy once more.

twitter

here's a link that may give you some food for thought.

quiet

a response to psalm 131

Father,
i am a child,
not better or worse than my friends
or my enemies.
i will not fuss and fret because i don't understand.
i won't pitch a fit because you say, "no."
i will be quiet in your lap.
i will lean my head on your shoulder and relax.
o, children of God, hope in your Maker
now and forevermore!
amen.

waiting

a response to psalm 130

from rock bottom i loudly called to you who made me.
Master, hear me!
please be attentive to my requests!
if you, my Creator, kept track of all my failures,
Master, how could i stand?
however, i find forgiveness with you
and therefore i fear you.

i wait for my Creator;
with peaceful confidence i expect him.
his word is the solid foundation of my hope.

from deep within me, i vigilantly look for my Master
more than the night watchman looks for the dawn.
my eager anticipation is greater
than the night watchman feels
when he waits for the rising sun.
o, children of God, be confident in your Creator,
because your relationship with him
has always been marked by the most profound kindness.
he redeems infinitely.
he buys his own children
from their slavery to willful failure.