my man

to love him,
and to encourage my friends
each to love her own. . .

a joyful sacrifice, it is.
i love him and he loves me,
he is wonderful
and kind
and succeeds in almost everything he does.
but each has the ability,
because of our deep intimacy
of heart and soul and spirit and body,
to wound deeply the other.

but still, the guiding rule is love--
to be kind to him to his face
and behind his back,
to be patient with his quirks
as well as his failures,
not to be demanding my own way
(which is the hardest),
not to be peeved all the time
or bear a grudge
about those quirks and failures,
to encourage him always to be
what he was created to be
which is strong and true and honorable,
to bear and believe and hope and endure
everything that happens
because it will all work out for good.

and love never fails.
sometimes true loving is hard,
but it doesn't quit.

there are days when my failures
in living this kind of love
pierce my heart with guilt. . .
but this is my goal.

and the fact that i don't hit the bulls eye every time
with 100% accuracy
doesn't mean i should give up,
or that i am not succeeding,
doing better than i would
if i weren't even trying.

prayer

though my heart may swell and ache
with unshed tears,
and grief presses in
so that breathing is labor
and my heart struggles to beat,

He is here,
and He hears my wordless grief,
caring beyond measure
with compassion
and victorious power.

and nothing,
nothing separates me
from His love.

borrowed from a friend

We always talk about the Israelites
when they were in that desert
as being
such
fools
that all they did in there
was walk around in circles!

No wonder we beat fellow Christians up
when they find themselves in a desert
 – we have a shocking opinion
on deserts
and the people walking through them

BUT
God Almighty tabernacles with them there.

He set them as His people
and he their God
in that place,
that wilderness
where He supernaturally fed and sustained them
 – yes they delayed the entry to the promised land
but it was more than that.

God took them from being slaves
and he began to change them
as He was going to give them a land of their own
and make them a nation…

lets be real!

can you in your life today
just go from slavery
to leadership
overnight
without restoration and training?

--Lisa Croker on Christians Under Construction
(reformatted by me. . . hope that's ok, lisa.)

<3

peace

we are told
that the quality
of a gentle and quiet spirit
is imperishable,

and also that this was
the defining quality
of the women of old who trusted God.

we are told
that we are their daughters
if we do what is right
without being alarmed
by the frightening.

free from anxiety and obsession?
free from terror and over-reaction?

oh, Lord,
grant such gentleness and quietness of spirit,
for i will never obtain it by myself.

vapor

there are times
when the joys of caring
for the young
with their eager exploration
and fierce energy
turns

to caring for the elderly
with their despair
and weakness.

and then
the realization pierces:
yesterday
i was young.
tomorrow i will be old.

small errors

some days
the small errors
pile up.

and seemingly
everything
would be done better
if i 
weren't
the one
doing it.

and on those days,
all the things done right
don't seem to count.

but i am loved.

that makes a difference.

rhubarb

lightly brushing aside
crackling brown leaves
from last fall,
we saw a ruby bubble
close to the spring warmed ground.

a few days later
a large, crumpled dark green leaf
unfurled
at the top
of  a pale pink stem.