idle thoughts

they are so frightening--
the thoughts that i am thinking
in the night as i drop off to sleep,
in the morning as the quiet dawn approaches,
in the quiet spaces of my days.
the imaginations,
the speculations,
the suspicions,
the arguments.

of no value.

insanity, if the truth be told.
the thoughts of my heart and mind
are carrying me outside the secure boundaries of truth
into the minefield of conjecture.

i am afraid.
i need to be rescued
from slavery
to my own fears
and animosities.

the love for all
that i idealize--
i do not find it in my heart
or my soul.

i am humbled.

i am undone!
break down the prison
of my own making!
oh, Lord, deliver me!


He comes.
my eyes are opened,
and i see His glorious beauty.
i see that He knows me as i really am,
and still He loves me,
He is tender toward me.

i am changed.
i can no longer love the schemes that i devise
in my fantasies--
fantasies that move me beyond the limits of sanity.

oh, tear them down!
tear,
tear,
tear them down!
let not one of them remain!

let my thoughts reflect His beauty!
let my heart be filled with the light of His splendor!
may He rule the kingdom of my heart,
and every thought be subjugated
to the purity of His gracious truth.