part 3: leprosy and me

so there was a spot,
red and inflamed,
that burned within my soul.
it was more than skin deep.
it penetrated to the very core of my being.

envy raged
as i compared my lot
with others'.
why do they prosper
and succeed,
i wondered in frustration,
when i am silenced
and ignored?


why does he get more prominence?
why is she recognized?

as i identified my problem
and saw the probable diagnosis
--bitter jealousy,
selfish ambition,
arrogance,
self-deception.

i went to the priest
for counsel,
hoping against hope.
but in the quiet moments of solitude
i recognized the infection that raged in my soul.
i knew the rebellion against God.
i saw the uncleanness,
the defilement.
i despaired.
how could i be cured?

the priest looked on me.
"you are unclean," he gravely said.
something within me tore in grief,
and i covered my mouth
and the word tore from my heart:
"unclean!"
and i went through the streets
aware of my isolation
even when in the midst of the crowd.

but i knew of a Man,
they said He had power
to cure and to cleanse.

so i went to Him,
begging for mercy.
and He looked on me
with unfathomable compassion.

He healed me
with His word,
making me pure,
peaceable,
gentle,
reasonable
full of mercy,
full of goodness,
steadfast,
unpretentious.

He is the bird slain in the running water,
the cedar is His cross,
the hyssop is the bitterness of His sufferings for me,
the scarlet thread is the spilling of His blood--
but i am the bird set free in the field.

He is the offering for my sin, my guilt, my peace.

to Him i dedicate my entire being--
heart, soul, mind, and strength!