tryst

oh, i yearn to spend time with my Beloved,
the One who loves me
infinitely,
unconditionally!

spending time listening to His voice
is my delight,
and i love to think about the things He says
all through the day
and even in the night.
His words and wisdom return to me
in my conversations with other people.

i have a confession.
i have not always found joy
in the time that i spent
with the Lover of my soul.

i used to drag myself to spend time with Him,
rudely thinking about other subjects,
more interesting to me
(i now say to my shame)
than the words He spoke to my heart.

my heart was hard
and closed
by the distractions
of alluring ambitions and worries.

how the change happened i am not quite certain.
i saw the dearth of delight,
the preoccupation with things of no value.
i asked Him to help me change.

In His patient love,
He gave and gave and gave,
and i found the hardness of my heart soften
like the parched ground
in a long but gentle rain.
the seed of His wisdom and His graciousness
penetrated the surface,
put down roots,
and bore fruit.